The Pros And Cons Of Marrying Versus Common Law Living
MARRY OR NOT
Married
Divorce isn’t fun for anyone. It seems to happen more and more these days. It seems reasonable to say that the length of time for one to complete a full marriage ceremony….. five minutes? That’s if you hire a justice of the peace, they are pretty quick and to the point. You then sign off on your marriage certificate, and have yourself a legal marriage. You then throw one hell of a party for everyone to drink, eat, and parté the night away on a hefty savings that could have been better spent on perhaps a downpayment on a house or to pay off some dept. Then, for some, the ones who got it right… hats off to you! Happily ever after! Seriously, impressive stuff!
Preparing for Divorce
For those of us who have then had to endure the process of separation agreements, dividing of property, obtaining a family lawyer, child custody agreements, co- parenting, leaving the matrimonial home, and much heart-ache of ending a long term relationship, this process I can assure you is much MUCH longer than five minutes.
For me, we had a plan. We would create our own handcrafted agreement. We had everything sorted out from the division of property to the legal framework. Our plan was to avoid at all costs the expenses that came along with hiring a divorce lawyer. We would walk into those family law offices with our pre-existing agreement and just like magic, DIVORCED!
During Divorce
Come on dumb dumb, nothing is that simple! First off, what I didn’t know was that there were some rules involved in what was called a family law act. Some of the negotiations that were made in any divorce agreement were out of our hands. Firstly, the child support payment guidelines in Canada are pre determined by a table based on the differences in incomes between the two parents. With this in mind, our prearranged agreement would already be altered significantly. My married spouse was not gonna like this considering his income was significantly higher than mine. There were also other things that played a part in agreements that I was not aware of set in place by the marriage act in Canadian law.
I met with three lawyers before one would take me on as a client. They all took one look at our self drafted agreement and assured me that no judge within the Supreme Court of Canada would sign off on it. At this period of time, my main focus was my children. I wasn’t interested in nickel and dimming my way through my divorce. We had both made fairly good investments while we were together and I figured that we would both still come out on top when all was said and done.
I knew that my career was going to be severely impacted with the two of us working together as a married couple, but perhaps not to the degree I should have anticipated. To this day, I question the motives of those lawyers. Were they looking out for my best interests or were they looking for a bigger pay cheque.
Finally Divorced
Being as clever and wise as we proclaimed to have been entering into this world of divorce negotiations, FOUR AND A HALF YEARS later and tens of thousands of dollars spent in lawyer fees, we received a piece of paper claiming to have finally succeeded in the dissolution of our marriage contract. We were finally divorced. I was without a career within any reasonable proximity to my home base, and was starting a new life, with new legal rights, new friends, huge resulting trust issues and a new family home for my children.
After Divorce, what I have learned…
I have been divorced for many years now and have unfortunately had the chance to reflect on the demise of many other failed relationships since. The one thing that I have learned, is that every split is dealt with in almost the identical way with regards to child support, some spousal support, and the equalization of net family property. Obviously, there are some ground rules with regards to every case when it comes to property rights in a common-law relationships. ( how long the relationship was, what existed when the relationship commenced, were there kids involved….) Also, rules are subject to provincial law. However, from what I have read, common-law status separation varies from that of divorce in that the laws governing valid marriage relationships do not apply to cohabitation for a common-law couple.
Agreements
It is advised to enter a cohabitation agreement with a common-law partner, as this allows the unmarried couple to agree on division of property, support, and other matters which may be disputed if the relationship ends. It is stated that, if assets are in the names of both parties, equal division is easily achieved.
However, when dealing with property during a cohabitation separation, each party generally is able to keep what belongs to them, as well as each party would be responsible for their own debt. It is also advisable to always have a will set in place when not legally married to ensure that your common law partner is first on the list for issues of inheritance. While having to look after minimal arrangements to ensure a few legal protections are set into place for your common law spouse, this remedies any future dealings with divorce proceedings or sadly end of life issues.
Common Law vs Registered Marriages
Registration of a legal marriage, followed by legal divorce proceedings costs the small sum of tens of thousands of dollars, years of paperwork, stress, and essentially ends with the same results as ending a ‘marriage-like relationship’, that you have being in a common -law partnership. The only real difference between the two commitments comes in when the couple has not actually legally signed a permanent legal record, certifying that they’ve gotten married. A marriage license becomes a permanent record filed with The Vital Statistics Agency. It is for this reason that it becomes such a legal nightmare to become divorced.
Common law couples who choose to remain in a loving committed relationship, share a home, children, finances, a life, and everything else that a legally married couple would do, have some strong selling points. I have no doubt in my mind that going through the process of terminating a common-law relationship consists of about as much enjoyment as the process to which a formalized divorce entails. The difference is though, that these individuals have made a conscious decision not spend the thousands of dollars on a party to express their love to one another in the very beginning. Further to that, they will be ensured to not ever have the unfortunate burden of spending the tens of thousands of dollars withdrawing their proclamation of love to one another to the government via attorneys. Statistics Canada states that 40% of Canadian marriages end in divorce. 🙁
Tradition can be Important Too
Listen, I do actually understand that for some people the idea of tradition is extremely important. I completely stand by anyone’s decisions to marry or not. There is definitely something to be said for some of these sets of principles. I am a firm believer in there being more than one right way of doing things. However, it is also good to be fully aware that sometimes decisions can greatly impact future outcomes and it is always a good idea to outweigh the benefits to decisions made that can impact the rest of your life.
I don’t regret getting married. Have three wonderful kiddos out of the deal. Also enjoyed some amazing experiences and am the person I am today because of them. Nothing in life is for sure, but if you don’t ever take chances, you will never know your successes. Live and learn!
In saying that, I strongly agree with the following quote:
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” By Alfred Lord Tennyson’s
Which is better: marriage or common law?
The answer to this question largely depends on the needs and preferences of each individual. Marriage is a legal union between two people that is formally recognized by the government, while common law relationships are not legally recognized in all jurisdictions.
Marriage offers certain rights and benefits that are not available in common law relationships, such as tax breaks, access to spousal benefits, and automatic inheritance rights. It also provides more legal protection should the relationship end. On the other hand, common law relationships offer greater flexibility and autonomy since couples are not bound by the same laws as married couples.
Ultimately, it is up to each individual to decide which type of relationship works best for them.
Why is common-law better than marriage?
Common law relationships are an alternative to traditional marriage and can provide many of the same benefits, such as tax advantages, inheritance rights, and access to certain benefits like health insurance. Common-law relationships also offer greater flexibility than marriage, allowing partners to choose the terms and conditions of their relationship.
Common-law relationships may be a better option for some couples because they don’t require a legal contract or government registration. This means there are no requirements for meeting specific criteria or obtaining approval from the court. Additionally, common-law relationships do not require partners to seek a divorce in order to dissolve the relationship, making it easier to end the union if necessary.
Overall, common-law relationships can be beneficial for couples who want more freedom and flexibility in their relationship than is provided by traditional marriage.
****These two questions are two separate takes on a version of the same question. The Information used to answer them was objectively taken from two different research studies. There purpose of their inclusion was to provide more Information to this blog topic, not to voice an opinion. Thanks everyone. 🙂
